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‘Tis The Season

24 Dec

As Jethro Tull sang, “The Christmas Spirit is not what you drink.” 
A few suggestions to keep in mind:

Stay in fit spiritual condition
pg 100 (the context is doing 12-step work—Working With Others): “Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts o things alcoholics are not supposed to do…”  pg 102— “Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start…”

You may say, “No” to invitations (or expectations) to attend functions where alcohol is served. Don’t let anyone guilt or pressure you into going if you are feeling vulnerable.  Sometimes skipping these (work, family, friend) events IS being willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober.

Check your motives—
pg 101 has questions to ask of yourself:  do you have a good reason to be there or are you really expecting to steal some vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?  Do you just want to watch others get drunk and make fools of themselves so you can feel righteous about staying sober? Or are you thinking about how you might carry the message (with your new, saner behavior, NOT with preaching or pointing out their flaws)?
Pg 102— Be sure “that your motive in going is thoroughly good…”
pg 103— And remember, “We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution.”

If you are in doubt or feeling lonely—
There are marathon meetings and get-togethers in large clubs and various group sober parties.
pg 102— “But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!”
As Bill W said (pg 14), “For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.” Pg 15, “…when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day.”

Re-read the 10th-Step promises— (a partial description of the recovered alcoholic) on pgs 84-85.  If you are confident that these are part of your sobriety TODAY, and you have made conscious contact with God, however you understand God—have a good time & Vaya Con Dios.
Drive yourself so you can leave when you want to; bring a sober friend for mutual support; keep your phone numbers handy in case of emergency; repeat the Serenity Prayer; drop your A.A. coin in a drink—if it doesn’t dissolve, don’t drink it, etc.

Merry Christmas and a Happy, Sober New Year to all of you.

 

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ETC, a recovered alcoholic in Oregon—relieved of the obsessions but not cured of the allergy.

 

 

“Our A.A. Experience Has Taught Us That…”

23 Dec

Our Twelve Traditions 

Page 563 in the Alcoholics Anonymous book gives us the Long Form. The short form is on page 562.
The traditions are not part of our new design for living or part of the recovery program—they inform us about UNITY for groups and A.A. as a whole (our society).  “Sponsors” and A.A. guides need to teach what the traditions mean for unity of the fellowship.
12&12, pg 15: 
“A.A.’s Twelve Traditions apply to the life of the Fellowship itself. They outline the means by which A.A. maintains its unity and relates itself to the world about it; the way it lives and grows.”

Pic of Bill WilsonSOME HISTORY:  The following quote excerpts were compiled by Jim Burwell from various talks and articles by Bill Wilson. Here is the link to “Barefoot’s World.”

QUESTION:  What were the conditions that led to the Twelve Traditions? (EXCERPTS– Transcribed from tape. Chicago, IL, February 1951)
After the Jack Alexander article was published in 1941 it brought down a deluge on our little New York office of thousands upon thousands of inquiries from frantic alcoholics, their wives, their employers and at that moment we passed out of our infancy and embarked upon our next phase—the phase of adolescence.
… We made the very sad discovery that just because you sobered up a drunk you haven’t made a saint out of him by a long shot. We found that we could be bitterly resentful and we discovered that we had a much better booze cure than we thought possible. A lot of us found that we could gripe like thunder and still stay sober. We found that we were in all sorts of petty struggles for leadership and prestige. A lot of us were very suspicious of the Book enterprise in the hands of that fellow Wilson who has a truck backed up to Mr. Rockefeller who has all the dough. And we began to have all sorts of troubles.
Money had entered the picture—it had to. We had to hire halls that didn’t come for nothing, the book cost something, we had dinners once in a while. Yes, money came into it.  Then we found little by little that the groups had to have chores done. Who was going to be the Chairman, would we hand pick him or elect him or what? You know what those troubles were and they became so fearsome that we went through another period of flying blind. … we were beginning to wonder in the early part of our adolescence, whether the destructive forces in our groups would rend us apart and destroy the society.
Our little New York office began to be deluged with mail from these groups, growing up at distances and not in contact with our old centers and they were having these troubles…  by a process of fission and sub-division this movement grew and grew and grew. Ten years later, it had spread into thirty countries…
In the early days we all had membership rules. Where have they gone now? We’re not afraid anymore. We open our arms wide, we say we don’t care who you are, what your difficulties are. You just need say, “I’m an alcoholic and I’m interested.” You declare yourself in. Our membership idea is put exactly in reverse.
Years ago we thought this society should go into research and education, to do everything for drunks all the time. We know better now. We have one sole object in this society, we shoemakers are going to stick to our last and we will carry that message to other alcoholics and leave these other matters to the more competent. We will do one thing supremely well rather than many things badly.
… our public relations policy is anonymity at the public level. No advertising of people, principles before personalities. Anonymity has a deep spiritual significance—the greatest protection this movement has.
…The A.A. Tradition developed not because I dictated it but because you people, your experience formed it and I merely set it on paper and tried beginning four years ago (1946) to reflect it back to you. Such were our years of adolescence, and before we leave them I must say that a powerful impetus was given the Traditions by the Gentleman who introduced me. (Earl T.)
One day he came down to Bedford Hills after the long form of the Traditions were written out at some length, because in the office we were forever having to answer questions about Group troubles, so the original Traditions were longer and covered more possibilities of trouble. Earl looked at me rather quizzically and he said “Bill, don’t you get it through your thick head that these drunks do not like to read. They will listen for a while but they will not read anything. Now, you want to capsule these Traditions as simply as are the Twelve Steps to Recovery.”
So he and I started the capsulizing process, which lasted a day or two and that put the Traditions into their present (short) form. Well, by this time we had a lot of experience on these principles, which we began to think might bind us together in unity for so long as God might need us. And at Cleveland (1950), seven thousand of us did declare “Yes, these are the traditional principles upon which we are willing to stand, upon which we can safely commit ourselves to the future, and so we emerged from adolescence. Again, last year we took destiny by the hand.

Have the Traditions been widely accepted? (Transcribed from tape, Fort Worth, TX, 1954)
When they were first written in early 1946 as tentative guides to help us hang together and function, nobody paid any attention except a few “againers” who wrote me and asked what the hell they were about.
Nobody paid the slightest attention but little by little as these Traditions got around we had our clubhouse squabbles, our little rifts, this difficulty and that and it was found that the Traditions indeed did reflect experience and were guiding principles. So they took hold a little more and a little more so that today the average A.A. coming in the door learns at once what they’re about, about what kind of an outfit he has really landed in and by what principles his group and A.A. as a whole are governed.

 

 

Happy, Joyous, and Free

08 Dec

Happy, Joyous, and Free does not mean it’s okay for me to be complacent and rest on my laurels.

Nor that from now on it is my happiness that counts because “God just wants me to be happy.”  Rather, our cheerfulness shows that with God’s power, we have recovered… Life has taken on a new meaning.
The joy of good living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step. In many references, the founders and authors emphasized that a sane and useful recovery was an example to beginners.  They also discussed many ways the family might interact and treat each other—healing for families was clearly a priority.

In the A.A. Basic Text:

Big Book coverOn page 133—We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
On page 132— “But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it.  We absolutely insist on enjoying life.”
On page 128— “We have indulged in spiritual intoxication.  Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold.  Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father (newcomer) feels he has struck something better than gold… he has barely scratched the limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.”
On page 130, The Family Afterward— “We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness.”
On page 163-164, A Vision For You— “When a few men in this city have found themselves, and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again, there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover—if he can and will.
On page 15, Bill’s Story—The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere… there is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us.”
On page 17, There Is A Solution “Unlike the feelings of the ship’s passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways.”
On page 62, How It Works “Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
On page 160, A Vision For You— “Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.”
On page xxi, Foreword to Second Edition— “Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and will presently join us on the high road to a new freedom.”
On page 83, Into Action— “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.”

From the A.A. Twelve and Twelve:

12&12 p.70, Step Seven— “Nearly all A.A.’s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven’t much chance of becoming truly happy.”
12&12 p.99, Step Eleven Prayer—
“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace. . .that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.”
12&12 p.106, Step Twelve—The joy of living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step, and action is its key word.”
12&12 p.110, Step Twelve—
“Practically every A.A. member declares that no satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth Step job well done.
12&12 p.125, Step Twelve—
“Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living; therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.’s Twelfth Step.”
12&12 p.112, Step Twelve— “Can we find a new joy of living in trying to do something about all these things?”
12&12 p.124, Step Twelve— “Still more wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy.”
12&12 p.114, Step Twelve—
“Only by this means can we improve our chances for really happy and useful living.
12&12 p.112, Step Twelve— “We are sober and happy in our A.A. work.”

This information assures us that knowing happiness, joy, and freedom, happens as a result of living this new way of life (if I follow all the instructions) and that this is a great example to newcomers of what a spiritual way of living gives us. We cannot keep this joy unless we also give it away.  Recovery must be worked for but the feelings of happiness, joyfulness, and freedom are gifts that we cannot demand or even expect.

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ETC, a recovered alcoholic in Oregon—relieved of the obsessions but not cured of the allergy.
 

Is it Okay for Non Alcoholics to Sponsor Alcoholics?

11 Nov

NO it’s not okay — not in Alcoholics Anonymous or in any other 12-Step organization as a NON addict or compulsive whatever.

What is it about “one alcoholic working with another alcoholic—free of charge” that is so difficult to understand? Yet there are thousands of non-alcoholics working as alcohol counselors attempting to help their clients through the 12 steps. There are also thousands of alcoholic-addicts working (i.e. NOT offering the steps free of charge but from a position of authority) that think they are helping their clients to better “understand” the 12 Steps from an outside, psychologically-based interpretation.
Although, any non-alcoholic/addict/compulsive person may MENTOR someone in areas other than the 12 Steps. It is healthy for everyone in recovery to have outside mentors and support for help in improving behaviors, thinking patterns, and various life skills to become job-ready and community ready, etc.  Absolutely.  I recommend this to everyone I work with.

But ANY non-AA members who think it’s okay to “sponsor” an alcoholic with the 12 steps should read “AA as a Resource for the Health Care Professional”LINK P.6—“As stated in the A.A. Preamble: A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution…”
P. 7—“Many health care professional have found effective ways to refer people to A.A.
It clearly says, REFER PEOPLE TO A.A. … “This health care professional finds it helpful to have a list of A.A. contacts available to take people to their first meeting.” They also suggest that the professional attend a few open meetings to get a basic understanding to help in the referral process.  They also suggest inquiries “whether the client has obtained an A.A. sponsor…who helps the client work a program of recovery.” BTW, an A.A. sponsor is a 12-step sponsor—the one who helps a newcomer to take the steps the A.A. (Big Book) way.
P. 10—We invite health care professionals to visit an open meeting and see what A.A. offers the alcoholic.”

Another important pamphlet is titled, “Questions and Answers about Sponsorship” –LINK
There is a little paragraph on page 9 that asks, “How should a sponsor be chosen?” Clearly they recommend asking an A.A. member who is successfully using the program in their life. They do NOT suggest that a newcomer finds a sponsor who is a nonalcoholic—who therefore has no personal experience using the 12 steps for an alcoholic problem.
Page 11 has a portion asking about a newcomer receiving ‘indoctrination’ by an outside agency and that learning about alcoholism in an institutional setting is not enough for living a new, sober life in a drinking world.

Big Book coverChapter Seven in the basic text is titled, “WORKING WITH OTHERS.”
This chapter is all about one alcoholic carrying the message to another alcoholic.  “You can help when no one else can.  You can secure their confidence when others fail. …because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics.” They didn’t mean a therapist’s occasional binges while they were in college—they meant the experience of a full-fledged, real, chronic, hopeless alcoholic who tried everything else and ONLY with the spiritual solution of the steps were they able to recover.  THAT’S THE MESSAGE.

An A.A. sponsor does not provide any services such as those offered by a social worker, a doctor, a nurse, or a marriage counselor.  A sponsor is simply a sober alcoholic who helps the newcomer solve one problem: how to stay sober. It is not professional training that enables a sponsor to give help—it is just personal experience and observation.
And A.A. meetings are not about “substance abuse recovery” or “chemical dependency;” their purpose is to teach and practice the 12 steps—THAT is the sole purpose of an A.A. group.  Outside group therapy sessions, drug and alcohol counseling are outside issues.
LINK to the blog page that discusses Primary Purpose, Sole Purpose, and Singleness of Purpose.

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ETC, a recovered alcoholic in Oregon—relieved of the obsessions but not cured of the allergy.