RSS
 

Posts Tagged ‘Service’

“Just keep coming back and you’ll be OK”

07 Jun

That is dangerous and potentially life-threatening advice for a chronic alcoholic (or addict). If that is all an alky hears from the meeting gurus, they will end up drinking again and telling everyone, “I tried A.A. and it doesn’t work.” Of course A.A. doesn’t work for those who refuse to do the necessary footwork, are unwilling to go to any length, or still believe that someday they will be able to control their drinking.  Meetings may keep a drunk sober for an hour or even a whole day, but to rely on meeting attendance as “your program” for a new way of living is NOT the solution.

Pic A A meetingListening for group members who speak the truth is how to tell the difference between the “know-it-all-but-the-big book” meeting regulars from the A.A.s who actually practice the steps and the spiritual principles (we cannot transmit something we haven’t received) and have had life-changing spiritual experiences.

The twelve steps are the solution.
Newcomers and dry-drunks need to hear that spoken in ALL 12-step meetings—that is the purpose of the groups!  Practicing ALL the steps, in order, following the textbook instructions (not any personal or non-alcoholics interpretations)  IS the solution—it is “the path” that we must be willing to thoroughly follow.  THIS is the action necessary for long-term emotional sobriety.

_____________________________________________________________________________
ETC, a recovered alcoholic in Oregon—relieved of the obsession but not cured of the allergy.

 

The Home Group

11 Jul

One Voice, One Vote

Pic A A meetingWith home group membership comes the right to vote on issues that might affect the group and might also affect AA as a whole. As with all group-conscience matters, each AA member has one vote; and this, ideally, is voiced through the home group. Over the years, the very essence of AA strength has remained with the home group, which, for many members, becomes their extended family.

The ‘one person, one voice, one vote’ principle is important.

This keeps the ‘bleeding deacons’ and their entourage from taking over the all meetings in their district and pressuring them to conform to their cookie-cutter meetings. Some actually claim they are trying to keep book-thumpers from ‘changing AA.’

EXAMPLES OF WHAT THE RULE-MAKERS CONSIDER AS CHANGING AA:
—A group who chooses to read How It Works from the original manuscript instead of from the Big Book.
—A group who reads the Traditions from the long form instead of the short form.
—Reading the first paragraph from the Foreword to the first edition instead of the Grapevine’s Preamble (apparently, these gurus have trouble with time and which was first. The Grapevine is a different entity and is not AAWS or AA as a whole.)
—A group who has a literature/topic discussion meeting instead of allowing the meetings be a free-for-all and half-measures dumping ground as not being ‘open.’

These are often the same people who bring NON-Big Book / NON-AA rhetoric into AA meetings. Now THAT is changing A.A.!! download an updated why we should study the big book

RULE 62 (no, it’s NOT about telling jokes)

Keep RULE 62 in mind: The story is in the 12 & 12, TRADITION FOUR, pages 146-148. It explains why Tradition 4 was written: Lighten up on the rules for how YOU think all AA meetings should be run. Try to get your ego out of the way, and don’t take yourself so damn seriously.

CHOOSING Your Homegroup

Your HOME GROUP is your foundation group—your Home Base.
ALL members are encouraged to attend other meetings also. PLEASE be careful. Under no circumstances should a newcomer have blind trust in ANYONE in The Fellowship.

HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF:

  • Does this meeting CARRY THE MESSAGE? Is the message of “problems with alcohol” and “recovery from alcoholism” discussed? Are the 12-steps (our program of recovery) explained? …or does it seem to be a ‘group-therapy, anything-goes social hour’?
  • Is there an Alcoholics Anonymous text and other A.A. literature available for reference? Do people actually READ from the Big Book and other A.A. literature?
  • Are there regular group members who understand the Big Book and the 12-step program? …and do you believe they can guide you and help you learn how to overcome alcoholism according the proven methods as shown in the Big Book?
  • Are members willing to be of service? …to meet with you after meetings to answer questions? …to ‘reach out the hand of A.A.’?
  • Do you sense honesty and straightforwardness? …or do you sense phoniness and ego-stroking?
  • Are you encouraged and even prodded to continue working (taking action) on a daily basis? …or are you patted on the back and assured that you can do Your Program Your Way, and you’ll be fine as long as you attend meetings?
  • Do long-term members have a sense of excitement about their recovery and carrying the message? …or do they offer tired, memorized opinions about recovery and lengthy, boring drunk-a-louges?
  • Do members seem to be ‘demonstrating spiritual principles in all their affairs’ (outside the meeting)? …or are they proud of being ‘still sick’ and behaving badly?
  • Are you encouraged to discover  and explore your own path with a Higher Power as you may understand Him?
  • Are you feeling more comfortable about ‘getting real’ and honestly expressing your progress or lack of progress while working the steps in various areas of your life?
  • Do you believe that you have a few ‘new friends’ who will Watch Your Back when the going gets tough? …and will not abandon you (turn their back on you) after you step out in faith?  …who will not reject you in the face of controversy or criticism from the ‘AA in-crowd’?
  • Do these people encourage reliance on your Higher Power RATHER THAN continued dependence on a sponsor who will dictate what you may and may not do.

WATCH OUT FOR “13 STEPPING”:

A common understanding is that this has to do with longer-term AAers who prey on newcomers for sexual favors. But unfortunately, a variety of PREDATORY BEHAVIORS  permeate the fellowship by lurking members who have no real interest in changing and recovering. Other 13-step-type behaviors are:  demanding other DUTIES (other than the common meeting service work) such as personal yardwork, providing rides, attendance at certain meetings to support your new sponsor or grand-sponsor (ugh, I dont like that term), any work-for-free demands, assigning long-term ‘service commitments’ prior to the one or two year minimum sobriety suggested by AAWS; financial demands other than for the newcomer’s immediate priorities (some sponsors have demanded travel to a conference right after a job layoff…with kids at home!), etc.

Strong-Program groups are NOT very common. You may have to attend a lot of middle-of-the-road meetings to find one that teaches recovery-by-the-book so that you too may find full recovery the way the first 100 to 1000 did!

__________________________________________________
ETC, a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon

 

The Personal Stories are NOT The 12-Step Program

30 Apr

The 12 Steps are our PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. The pages from The Doctor’s Opinion through page 164 is our textbook—these pages describe this program, giving us ‘clear-cut directions’ for a full recovery from our obsessions.

BB xi, Preface: “Therefore, the first portion of this volume, describing the A.A. recovery program, has been left untouched in the course of revisions made for the second, third, and fourth editions.”
BB xxii, Foreword to Third Edition
:
The Twelve Steps that summarize the program may be called los Doce Pasos in one country, les Douze Etapes in another, but they trace exactly the same path to recovery that was blazed by the earliest members of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
BB pages 28-29:
“In the following chapter (More About Alcoholism), there appears an explanation of alcoholism, as we understand it, then a chapter addressed to the agnostic (We Agnostics). Many who once were in this class are now among our members. Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience. Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered (How It Works) thru page 164 & Dr. Bob’s Nightmare). These are FOLLOWED BY forty-three PERSONAL experiences. Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in HIS OWN language and from HIS OWN POINT OF VIEW the way HE established his relationship with God. These give a fair cross section of our membership and a clear-cut idea of what has actually happened in their lives. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.”
BB p.59, How it Works:
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
BB p.72, Into Action:
“This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.(How It Works)

The ‘WE’ of the first 164 pages are the inclusive experiences of the pioneers and the ‘first 100’, which is not the ‘I’ of the personal stories. The Stories help a newcomer to IDENTIFY as an alcoholic. They also describe PERSONAL, SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES to reassure newcomers that it can happen for them also.

PRECISE instructions: “To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED
is the main purpose of this book.”
Pg xiii
An OUTLINED PLAN
“He accepted the PLAN OUTLINED IN THIS BOOK.” Pg xxxi
GREAT NEWS
We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.”
CLEAR-CUT directions
“…clear-cut directions are given.” “If we have carefully followed (these clear-cut) directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us.” Pg 85.

The BB authors clearly told us the stories are NOT part of the program. Each of us will have OUR OWN spiritual experience from OUR OWN efforts at conscience contact with God as WE understand God. We are not expected to have the same spiritual experiences and awarenesses that someone else had.

The 12 traditions were written to UNIFY our society as a whole, and were NOT intended as OUR PERSONAL RECOVERY PROGRAM (the steps are for our RECOVERY). The AA big book was published in 1939—and the traditions weren’t published until 1946.

THE 12 & 12 WAS NEVER INTENDED TO REPLACE OUR BASIC TEXT

HOW DO WE KNOW?:
Pg 17:
“In it (the AA book) alcoholism was described from the alcoholic’s point of view, the spiritual ideas of the Society were codified for the first time in the Twelve Steps, and the application of these Steps to the alcoholic’s dilemma was MADE CLEAR.
The remainder of the book was devoted to thirty stories
or case histories in which the alcoholics described THEIR drinking experiences. This established identification with alcoholic readers and prived to them that the VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE HAD NOW BECOME POSSIBLE.
The book “Alcoholics Anonymous” become the BASIC TEXT OF THE FELLOWSHIP, and IT STILL IS. This present volume (the 12 & 12) proposes to BROADEN AND DEEPEN the understanding of the Twelve Steps as first written in the earlier work.”

WHAT ELSE DOES THE 12 & 12 TELL US in the Foreward?

The STEPS are a new way of living—our PROGRAM: “A.A.’s Twelve STEPS are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole.”
The TRADITIONS are intended for continued UNITY of the fellowship:
“A.A.’s Twelve Traditions apply to the life of the Fellowship. They outline the means by which A.A. maintains It’s unity and relates itself to the world about it, the way it lives and grows.”
Page 18
of the Foreword explains the need for the Traditions for the quickly expanding fellowship and the need for UNITY of the society— to help these “great numbers of yet erratic people” to “live and work together with harmony and good effect.”

Understanding the three distinct sides of our Society (the triangle), reinforces that the Steps are intended to be taken for our personal recovery. We need to make this clear for anyone who is sincerely searching for a new way of life.

The third side of our pyramid: The 12 Concepts are the SERVICE part of our society.

Page 574, Appendices: A.A.’s Twelve Steps are principles for personal recovery. The Twelve Traditions ensure the unity of the Fellowship. Written by co-founder Bill W. in 1962, the Twelve Concepts for World Service provide a group of related principles to help ensure that various element of A.A.’s SERVICE STRUCTURE remain responsive  and RESPONSIBLE TO THOSE THEY SERVE.

Bill W gave three major talks at The Second A.A. International Convention in St. Louis, Mo, 1955 (from article by Nancy O.)  “On the first night Bill talked of what he called the first of the three legacies: ‘How We Learned to Recover.’ His second talk dealt with the second legacy ‘How We Learned to Stay Together.’ His third talk was on the third legacy: ‘How We Learned to Serve.’

______________________________________________________________________________
ETC— recovered from the obsession but not cured of the allergy
alcoholic in Oregon