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Posts Tagged ‘fellowship’

SERVICE… Does it mean, “give us more money?”

09 Oct

AA is not a Business, we are a Fellowship

Our inverted Triangle helps us to remember that in service we are expected to be trusted servants.

From The Twelve Concepts for World Service:
“12. The Conference shall observe the spirit of A.A. tradition, taking care that it never becomes the seat of perilous wealth or power; that sufficient operating funds and reserve be its prudent financial principle; that it place none of its members in a position of unqualified authority over others; that it reach all important decisions by discussion, vote, and whenever possible, substantial unanimity; that its actions never be personally punitive nor an incitement to public controversy; that it never perform acts of government; that, like the Society it serves, it will always remain democratic in thought and action.”

Why would districts and areas pressure groups to donate MORE money and lay on guilt trips instead of being good stewards of their prudent reserves? Is that really being of humble service? …or is it carrying the message that groups are there to SERVE THE DISTRICT?

BUDGETING

The economy is in the toilet… donations at meetings are down due to so many people being unemployed, underemployed, from having to pay big bucks for all their diversion requirements, or from various family obligations ($10 can buy a couple jugs of milk and a loaf of bread). The “average joe and jane” are budgeting. Hmm-mm, what a concept!

Can your district/area cut down on get-togethers which demand spending more money? Are workshops so important now when the attendees are usually the same bunch of people anyway? Can you find cheaper meeting places, or does your intergroup insist you spend your money to support them? (“oh, those districts have plenty of money.”) Do you really need to foot the bill to send all those GSOs to area meetings–or do you just want to impress them with the financial power of your district? (if their homegroup can’t afford to send them, can’t you also see that the group cannot afford to donate big bucks to your district?)
Too many hands in the cookie jar.

No guilt trips

…for smaller groups who are working hard at carrying the full 12-step message to save lives of alcoholics who are searching for a new way of living.
…or for mega-meetings– each group is autonomous and they may spend group money how their group conscience decides! If they choose to spend money on free dinners at speaker meetings to attract newcomers, then so be it.

 
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Posted in Service

 

The Personal Stories are NOT The 12-Step Program

30 Apr

The 12 Steps are our PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. The pages from The Doctor’s Opinion through page 164 is our textbook—these pages describe this program, giving us ‘clear-cut directions’ for a full recovery from our obsessions.

BB xi, Preface: “Therefore, the first portion of this volume, describing the A.A. recovery program, has been left untouched in the course of revisions made for the second, third, and fourth editions.”
BB xxii, Foreword to Third Edition
:
The Twelve Steps that summarize the program may be called los Doce Pasos in one country, les Douze Etapes in another, but they trace exactly the same path to recovery that was blazed by the earliest members of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
BB pages 28-29:
“In the following chapter (More About Alcoholism), there appears an explanation of alcoholism, as we understand it, then a chapter addressed to the agnostic (We Agnostics). Many who once were in this class are now among our members. Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience. Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered (How It Works) thru page 164 & Dr. Bob’s Nightmare). These are FOLLOWED BY forty-three PERSONAL experiences. Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in HIS OWN language and from HIS OWN POINT OF VIEW the way HE established his relationship with God. These give a fair cross section of our membership and a clear-cut idea of what has actually happened in their lives. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.”
BB p.59, How it Works:
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
BB p.72, Into Action:
“This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.(How It Works)

The ‘WE’ of the first 164 pages are the inclusive experiences of the pioneers and the ‘first 100’, which is not the ‘I’ of the personal stories. The Stories help a newcomer to IDENTIFY as an alcoholic. They also describe PERSONAL, SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES to reassure newcomers that it can happen for them also.

PRECISE instructions: “To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED
is the main purpose of this book.”
Pg xiii
An OUTLINED PLAN
“He accepted the PLAN OUTLINED IN THIS BOOK.” Pg xxxi
GREAT NEWS
We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.”
CLEAR-CUT directions
“…clear-cut directions are given.” “If we have carefully followed (these clear-cut) directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us.” Pg 85.

The BB authors clearly told us the stories are NOT part of the program. Each of us will have OUR OWN spiritual experience from OUR OWN efforts at conscience contact with God as WE understand God. We are not expected to have the same spiritual experiences and awarenesses that someone else had.

The 12 traditions were written to UNIFY our society as a whole, and were NOT intended as OUR PERSONAL RECOVERY PROGRAM (the steps are for our RECOVERY). The AA big book was published in 1939—and the traditions weren’t published until 1946.

THE 12 & 12 WAS NEVER INTENDED TO REPLACE OUR BASIC TEXT

HOW DO WE KNOW?:
Pg 17:
“In it (the AA book) alcoholism was described from the alcoholic’s point of view, the spiritual ideas of the Society were codified for the first time in the Twelve Steps, and the application of these Steps to the alcoholic’s dilemma was MADE CLEAR.
The remainder of the book was devoted to thirty stories
or case histories in which the alcoholics described THEIR drinking experiences. This established identification with alcoholic readers and prived to them that the VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE HAD NOW BECOME POSSIBLE.
The book “Alcoholics Anonymous” become the BASIC TEXT OF THE FELLOWSHIP, and IT STILL IS. This present volume (the 12 & 12) proposes to BROADEN AND DEEPEN the understanding of the Twelve Steps as first written in the earlier work.”

WHAT ELSE DOES THE 12 & 12 TELL US in the Foreward?

The STEPS are a new way of living—our PROGRAM: “A.A.’s Twelve STEPS are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole.”
The TRADITIONS are intended for continued UNITY of the fellowship:
“A.A.’s Twelve Traditions apply to the life of the Fellowship. They outline the means by which A.A. maintains It’s unity and relates itself to the world about it, the way it lives and grows.”
Page 18
of the Foreword explains the need for the Traditions for the quickly expanding fellowship and the need for UNITY of the society— to help these “great numbers of yet erratic people” to “live and work together with harmony and good effect.”

Understanding the three distinct sides of our Society (the triangle), reinforces that the Steps are intended to be taken for our personal recovery. We need to make this clear for anyone who is sincerely searching for a new way of life.

The third side of our pyramid: The 12 Concepts are the SERVICE part of our society.

Page 574, Appendices: A.A.’s Twelve Steps are principles for personal recovery. The Twelve Traditions ensure the unity of the Fellowship. Written by co-founder Bill W. in 1962, the Twelve Concepts for World Service provide a group of related principles to help ensure that various element of A.A.’s SERVICE STRUCTURE remain responsive  and RESPONSIBLE TO THOSE THEY SERVE.

Bill W gave three major talks at The Second A.A. International Convention in St. Louis, Mo, 1955 (from article by Nancy O.)  “On the first night Bill talked of what he called the first of the three legacies: ‘How We Learned to Recover.’ His second talk dealt with the second legacy ‘How We Learned to Stay Together.’ His third talk was on the third legacy: ‘How We Learned to Serve.’

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ETC— recovered from the obsession but not cured of the allergy
alcoholic in Oregon
 

“Jocks” VS “Nerds” in the AA Fellowship

16 Apr

This is the familiar, sad, age-old stories from middle and high schools. A.k.a.: cool, popular kids VS a-desire-to-learn geeks, or…

AA Half-Measures & Fun-Timers -VS- AA Traditionalists and Let’s Carry The Real Message to the Newcomers people.

I knew when I started this blog that there was a good chance I’d be attacked by Middle-of-the-Road Solutionists. But that’s okay, I intended to get people outside their comfort zone. “The truth will set you free, but first it will really piss you off.” I’m used to it. But my home group has a few of us, and we just keep carrying that full message of spiritual hope handed down from the AA pioneers. And some people are getting it—some hungry, desperate, REAL alcoholics who know their life depends on ‘getting it.’

M Scott Peck:  “If we think a great deal and others don’t particularly like it, that is their problem, not ours. If you use your brain, it’s bound to create a problem for others if they are seeking to use, abuse, control you, or keep you dependent or fearful. … If we choose to think for ourselves, we risk being seen as eccentrics or malcontents.”

I WILL NOT ‘DUMB-DOWN’ SO COMFORTABLE, COMPLACENT A.A.s WON’T FEEL CHALLENGED AND GET THEIR FEELINGS HURT.
In my life, I have had my fill of bullies, psychos, sick bastards, cool-kids, mean girls, twits, social-climbers, cliques, groupies, perverts, whiners, and pompous jerks who take out their frustrations on others because they’re afraid to take a close look at their own shortcomings and will never surrender to another god other than their own ego.
Yea, I take inventory (gauge, judge, estimate)—of course I do—that’s how I determine which people are TOXIC and not safe to be around.

Please read “Upon Awakening, let us think” for more on using the brain God gave you to help others. Read You Might Be a Dry-Drunk if… at RC-RC.info/downloads.

This would also be a good place to re-post M Scott Peck’s quotes about thinking:

Thinking is difficult. Thinking is complex. Thinking is a process. Many people show little interest in contemplation.
Thinking too little is your problem. Many people run from the change necessary for growth. They aren’t willing to face the task of reformulating some of the assumptions and illusions they have accepted as truth. …We have to live with some illusions but the problem comes when our illusions consistently interfere with growth. …many people avoid the pain of suffering and problems… if we avoid suffering, we avoid growth.”
Thinking too much is somebody else’s problem. Although often we do damage to ourselves through simplistic thinking, there are other times when people may seek to damage us for daring to think well.  If we think a great deal and others don’t particularly like it, that is their problem, not ours. If you use your brain, it’s bound to create a problem for others if they are seeking to use, abuse, control you, or keep you dependent or fearful. … If we choose to think for ourselves, we risk being seen as eccentrics or malcontents.  …It can take a lifetime for many people to come to terms with the freedom they truly have to think for themselves… it is a choice.”

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ETC, a recovered, but not cured, alcoholic in Oregon
 

A.A. Meetings & Groups

08 Apr

A.A. membership has become top-heavy with non-alcoholics looking for free “group therapy” sessions and companionship instead of only those who suffer from alcoholism.

BB pg 563, Tradition Five: “Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose—that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.”

Do you hear any of these messages in meetings you attend?

  • Talk about what IT (instead of ‘what we were like’) was like—what I did not do—and what I hope all the sick, sober-only kids will think is cool!!“
  • Back when I was drinkin’…”
  • “All the steps and the big book are subjective and open to interpretation, so…”.
  • “There’s two schools of thought on that…”
  • “The big book is antiquated and not relevant for today’s alcoholic.”
  • “The steps are suggested so I can work them any way I want to and suggest my way in meetings.”
  • “Don’t say you’ll never drink again—you’ll jinx your sobriety.”

Bill Wilson, Grapevine, 1958: “Sobriety—freedom from alcohol—through the teaching and the practice of the Twelve Steps is the SOLE PURPOSE of an A.A. group.”

Any of these things going on in meetings?

  • People who are there just to drink coffee? Get a date? To please the spouse, boss, or courts.
  • A bunch of raunchy, derogatory jokes under the excuse that it’s okay because of ‘rule 62.’
  • A place to dump their mess instead of the message.
  • Detailed, boring drunk-a-logues.
  • People getting rid of their 5th step or other crap to make themselves feel better.
  • Meetings that have dissolved into ‘a what it means to me’ meeting (my program my way) by rehab graduates and Middle-of-the-Road solutionists.
  • A groupthink-type mentality and stating of meaningless phrases and clichés.
  • A lot of ‘pop-AA,’ a.k.a. ‘treatment center’ jargon and slogans are spread as ‘the message.’
  • Where people who read from the book and share about the life-saving nature of the 12-Step Program are ridiculed as ‘book thumpers’ or ‘AA Taliban,’ or ‘arrogant know-it-alls’?
  • People who confuse ‘carrying the message’ with being a good Samaritan?
  • They are fearful of damaging someone’s self-esteem and are trying to win friends and a ‘posse.’
  • A lot of hugs, lovey dovey and ‘don’t judge me’ talk, ‘just go to meetings you’ll be fine,’ ‘think positive,’ BS?
  • People who’s method of sponsorship is ‘take your time,’ ‘just call me before you drink,’ or ‘call me every morning and tell me your plans for the day.’
  • People polishing up their speeches in hopes of getting on the speaker circuit.
  • AAers who think it’s all about raffles, AA picnics, conventions, and having a good time?
  • Are there newcomers going to two and three meetings a day believing that the more meetings they make, the easier it will be to stay sober—then they drink anyway (duh!).
  • A lot of ‘outside issues’ discussed; i.e., medical views, scientific definitions, NA slogans, my sponsor’s opinion, etc.
  • Is everyone ‘recovering’ instead of ‘recovered’ (as the program tells us we become IF we do what THEY did and live by the spiritual principles).
  • And, have you ever left a meeting feeling like you need a meeting?

Going to meetings and sharing about your emotional condition is NOT carrying the message as given to us by the AA pioneers.

AA, as designed and intended, is a society and supportive means of upholding our PRIMARY PURPOSE. The newcomer who comes to us for help needs to hear the voice of experience and knowledge—not a rehab graduate’s concept of experience, strength, and hope. He has no experience, is un-treated, he is weak and hopeless, and he has a ‘monkey-mind’ until he recovers. He/she needs help to find (and build a relationship with) God—a power greater than themselves. This is the “fourth dimension of existence,” a life of joy and purpose in God’s will instead of self-will.

THE SOLUTION: Search out meetings where the Big Book is read, Truth is spoken and encouraged, and join them as you trudge the road to happy destiny. God will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. BB p 164.

for more related information:

  1. the original “Meeting Rhetoric VS The Big Book”on the articles page at Primary Purpose Groups in Dallas.
  2. an expanded version of Rhetoric VS Big Book on the downloads page at Rose City Recovery Connections
  3. Great observations about AA meetings by Danny S (RLRA): Meetings
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ETC—a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon