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Posts Tagged ‘Big Book’

A ‘Plurality of Purpose’ in Too Many AA Groups

20 Jul

1.  A CHANNEL OF SAVING GRACE FOR EVERYBODY

Does your group (or district) behave as if they are a channel of saving grace for everybody?
It is if you hear, “Don’t worry if you’re an alcoholic or not, these steps will change your life–and you can do them ANY way you want to.” A.A. was never intended to be a “one size fits all” program.  That only dilutes the program of recovery for “alcoholics of our type.”

Bill Wilson, AA Comes of Age, page 232: OUR SINGLE PURPOSE:
Pic of Bill Wilson“There are those who predict that A.A. may well become a new spearhead for a spiritual awakening throughout the world. When our friends say these things, they are both generous and sincere. But we of A.A. must reflect that such a tribute and such a prophecy could well prove to be a heady drink for most of us—that is, if we really came to believe this to be the real purpose of A.A., and if we commenced to behave accordingly.
Our Society, therefore, will prudently cleave to its SINGLE PURPOSE: the carrying of the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Let us resist the proud assumption that since God has enabled us to do well in one area we are destined to be a channel of saving grace for everybody.
(extra emphasis mine)

Clearly, A.A. groups are NOT to attempt to be a channel of saving grace for everybody! If they do, pride gets in the way of carrying the message of full recovery to the REAL alcoholic who desperately needs our help. We are not expected to “save” those DUI and any others who DO NOT WANT to stop drinking and are attending only because it’s required by some OUTSIDE AGENCY
(Remember, AA NEVER requires attendance and we are violating our 6th Tradition by holding anyone hostage in a meeting.)

2.  BRINGING IN THE MONEY

Is making big money an important focus of your group? Do you claim that YOUR meeting is “one of the best” in your district because it’s BIG and puts lots of money into the coffers of your district/area/intergroup? Do they encourage people to “dig deep because AA needs it?” Do they host a lot of fun fundraisers?

How can groups participate? (from F-3—Self-Support: Where Money and Spirituality Mix AA pamphlet):
To help support A.A.’s essential services, the General Service Conference suggests that individual groups, through an informed group conscience, adopt a specific contribution plan tailored to meet the group’s financial situation.
Once the basic group expenses have been taken care of (rent, refreshments, A.A. literature, local meeting lists, G.S.R. travel expenses to attend service functions), and a “prudent reserve” has been set aside to cover any emergency contingencies that might arise, the group
may decide to further carry the message by sending money to the following A.A. service entities. The local district, the area committee, the local intergroup or central office, or A.A.’s General Service Office.”

Any group that is proud of their monetary contributions and has members that put down other groups that don’t contribute as much—has lost their focus.
If a district/area/intergroup keeps track of, and posts, WHICH group contributed WHAT AMOUNT—is this breaking a group’s anonymity? Does this encourage PRIDE and GROUP EGO-TRIPPING?

3. THE BIGGER THE BETTER

Is your home group one of those Mega-Meetings held in a church basement or auditorium? Is that important as proof that it’s better? Or is pride and ego getting in the way?

WHAT OFTEN HAPPENS IN BIG MEETINGS IS THAT….

  • too much emphasis is placed on ‘fellowship’ and not on ‘the solution of the 12 Steps,’ and on ‘sharing whatever’s on your mind’ rather than ‘carrying the message.’
  • newcomers come to believe that attending meetings and slogans are what will keep them sober (they are partially correct—they can stay sober one more hour by sitting in that meeting, never understanding that taking the steps is what will change their life and get them recovered).
  • too many opinions, interpretations, assumptions, and inappropriately-used slogans rather than sharing the real life-saving program described in the AA textbook.
  • there is heavy competition for the ‘baddest’ drunk-a-louge in town.
  • has people honing their speaking skills to get on the speaker circuit (they record themselves to put out their CD to be chosen for the next speaker meeting or convention).
  • assuming that the more melodramatic and gifted the speakers, the ‘better’ the meeting.

4.  MAKING SURE NEW ATTENDEES GET EMOTIONAL AND WANT TO KEEP COMING BACK TO OUR MEETING.

Does your group believe that getting the audience to laugh, cry, ooh & aah are signs of a good meeting? If so, the group is no longer focused on “THE SOLE PURPOSE OF AN A.A. GROUP” and should take a group-health inventory.  (see AA’s pamphlet ‘The AA Group pages 27-28. Very pertinent for large groups)
(link here for AA
s Traditions Checklist)

Pic of Bill WilsonLetter from Bill Wilson dated 1966 and quoted in “As Bill Sees It”, page 79
“An AA group, as such, cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone those of non-alcoholics in the world around us. The AA group is not, for example, a mediator of domestic relations, nor does it furnish personal financial aid to anyone. Though a member may sometimes be helped in such matters by his friends in AA, the primary responsibility for the solutions of all his problems of living and growing rests squarely upon the individual himself. Should the AA group attempt this sort of help, its effectiveness and energies would be hopelessly dissipated.
This is why sobriety—freedom from alcohol—through the teaching and practice of AA’s 12 Steps, is the sole purpose of the group. If we don’t stick to this cardinal principle, we shall almost certainly collapse. And if we collapse we cannot help anyone.

SOLUTION:

Big Book coverGet BACK TO THE BASICS and STAY THERE. Find newcomers at your group who look desperate—work with them one-to-one!
If you really just LOVE AA, then take time to truly understand our traditions, sole purpose, singleness of purpose, and REAL AA History.

A Few of AA’s Traditions

2.—For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.
3.—
Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
4.—
With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.
5.—Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose—that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

6.—
Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A.—and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.

_____________________________________________________
ETC, a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon

 

The Big Book 24-hour Plan

15 Apr

Pages 85 to 88 in the Big Book pretty much covers this 24-hour plan—

“We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. …What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. …On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. …as we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action… humbly saying to ourselves many times each day… When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.

Some people call it:  Living One Day At A Time (beware, for those who HISS at the dropping of the name Jesus,  this term does have references to Christianity: One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus). But the 24-hour plan is NOT really about watching the clock and hoping to ‘make it from noon to midnight and midnight to noon’ without popping the cork so I can say “I’m a winner because I didn’t drink today!” That kind of sobriety is hanging on by your fingernails (white-knuckling it)—or for non-alcoholics who can just CHOOSE not to drink for that day.

Hanging on each day IS often necessary for the alcoholic who has not yet thoroughly worked on Steps One through Nine or for the poor person whos sponsor tells them take your time; go to meetings and youll be FINE. And for newcomers, the 24-Hour Plan, if you choose NOT to take the 12 Steps, IS to white-knuckle, or be baby-sat, through each 24 hours without drinking. (Since real alcoholics have lost the power of choice in drink, this is the ONLY way to get through those 24 hours.)

I couldn’t find instructions in our textbook that I have to beseech God each day to PLEASE keep me sober/abstinent. Other people seem to have read something in the Big Book that they should be doing this on a daily basis. Let me know the pages, please.

MY 24-HOUR PLAN

I learn from yesterday’s experiences and my personal inventory of them. I don’t continue to dwell on past mistakes—after all, God has forgiven me.
I prepare for tomorrow by doing footwork, setting priorities, and planning appointments.
I LIVE IN TODAY. (pgs 86-88) I start with Quiet Time and ‘ask God to direct my thinking.’ I listen for guidance and try to stay spiritually awake and aware of what’s going on around me. I take care of my responsibilities. As I ‘go through the day I pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask God for the right thought or action.’ …humbly say to myself many times each day ‘They will be done.’ When I ‘retire at night I constructively review my day’ (because I continue to fall short).

But with daily maintenance of my spiritual condition I don’t have to ‘white-knuckle’ sobriety. Does it now make sense why the founders took their prospect through the whole process in a few days or even hours? …so they wouldn’t have to beg to stay sober another 24 hours and stay stuck in their crazy, alcoholic thinking–day after day after day.

ETC—a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon
 

ACCEPTANCE

27 Mar

Acceptance is NOT the answer to all my problems today. (the commonly-used acceptance phrase comes from a story in the back; therefore, is not part of the Program) Seeking God’s guidance and dealing with my self-centeredness, dishonesty, resentments, and re-forming ego IS the answer according to our clear-cut directions. AA is a Simple Program with Simple Steps, Simple Rules and Directions, and a Simple Kit of Spiritual Tools.

Struggling for acceptance it is not necessary and does not offer serenity. Acceptance and tolerance come as a result of living this Program and God doing for me what I couldn’t do by myself. Even the Serenity Prayer reminds me of this. I try not to waste time trying to accept things that CAN and should be changed (and a lot of things that go on in this world are hideous and may need your help to be changed—if that is part of your path with God).

BB pg 139, it is suggested that we accept the principles and procedures that had helped them (the first 100) recover.  Then we are undoubtedly on the road to recovery.

Bill Wilson (1962 Grapevine) from “A Pair of Acceptances”

Pic of Bill Wilson“On entering AA, we become the beneficiaries of a very different experience. Our new way of staying sober is literally founded upon the proposition that ‘Of ourselves, we are nothing, the Father doeth the works.’ In Steps One and Two of our recovery program, these ideas are specifically spelled out: ‘We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable’—’Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.’ We couldn’t lick alcohol with our own remaining resources and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a higher power (if only our AA group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to fully accept these facts, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.

For most of us this pair of acceptances had required a lot of exertion to achieve. Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free. There had been no irretrievable disaster.

This kind of acceptance and faith is capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In fact it usually does; and it must, else we could have no life at all.”

Awesome—yes, accept that we CAN and DO recover if we live on a spiritual basis!

ETC—a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon
AA is a Simple Program with Simple Steps, Simple Rules and Directions, and a Simple Kit of Spiritual Tools.
 

On Awakening, LET US THINK…

20 Mar

Something heard in too many meetings and in the fellowship:  “Don’t think too much,” “Don’t think–you’ll get into trouble,” or “Don’t think–you might get drunk. Newcomers/ beginners do need guidance because they still have that ‘alcoholic thinking.’  But as their guides or sponsors, we must help them learn to think WELL—so they can begin asking God to direct their thinking, and to become dependent on infinite God—not their finite self, and certainly NOT their sponsor. Anyone with over 3 years of continuous sobriety should be practicing independent thinking! How are you taking your daily self-inventory, quiet time readings, studying AA literature, and remaining teachable, etc. if you dont dare to think yet? And who are you depending on to do your thinking for you?

PRACTICING A SIMPLE PROGRAM DOESN’T MEAN WE AVOID THINKING

Even the slogan, ‘Keep It Simple’ (which is not in the Big Book) seems to have become a permanent cop-out for laziness and fear of change. The implication being that if you dare to think, you’re ‘complicating’ or ‘intellectualizing’ the program, and you’re ‘arrogant’ if you dare to share the strong message (dry drunks can get very defensive and nasty when their program is challenged). 

BS. We DO have, and should maintain, a “simple program” (BB pg 58); it is “Simple, but not easy…” (BB pg 14); we have a “simple kit of spiritual tools” (BB pg 25), “simple steps” (BB pg 46), “simple requirements” (BB pg 50), “simple rules” (BB pg xxix); “the simple way we have just outlined.” (BB pg 88); “do certain simple things” (BB pg 50); and “simple reliance upon…” (BB pg. 52).  In Dr Bob’s last message, he mentioned hanging on to “the simplicity of our Program.” He also reminded us that our 12 Steps are simply about “love and service.”

Keeping it Simple does NOT mean we are to use ‘simplistic thinking’ and sit back and let life happen to us—that’s a taking half-measures and working YOUR program, not The Program. It will avail you NOTHING. When a sober-only oldtimer designs their own program and tries to pass it off as A.A. –well that’s arrogance and complicating The Program. If someone has 15+ years of ‘just sobriety’ and are just ‘recovering;’ simply ‘a member of AA;’ if they claim they still have alcoholic ‘stinkin thinkin,’ are still ‘sick’ (don’t believe God has restored them to sanity yet), only practice the principles in a few convenient areas of their life, and have little desire to hear or learn the truth… well God bless them, but they just may be a DRY DRUNK.

THINK, THINK, THINK

This popular slogan (which is not in the Big Book) was never intended to mean, “think the drink through.” That’s another cliche scattered by treatment centers. There is a large group of people who can think the drink through—these people are called “non-alcoholics.”  If drunks were able to reliably think the drink through, they’d never need the Steps or spiritual experience, only a desire to stop drinking. The original meaning is not certain; some say the slogan originated in Cleveland, Ohio in the mid-1940s, however, its actual source is unknown. So why not take it for what is says? We are encouraged and expected to THINK, THINK, THINK… exercise that brain God gave you to use!

THE SOLUTION:

Our A.A. textbook makes it clear that we are expected to use our new, recovered thinking on a daily basis, asking God for guidance—our daily, personal work is necessary for survival and growth. But in addition, the good old-timers regularly studied together and encouraged special group work—small, study and fellowship groups where rigorous honesty, openness, and responsibility is pursued and practiced on a regular basis. They read and discussed books and literature from others who have sought and experienced conscious contact with God.

They had three qualifications for people who are searching for REAL answers: You must try to be HONEST. You must be WILLING TO LEARN. You must WORK HARD. Then find and associate with a group of people who are actually doing this, and get involved with them. These are the people we check our decisions with, who encourage us, help us stay accountable on our personal journey with God, who we bounce ideas off of, help us stay focused on our priorities, and stay on track to our goals (our checks and balances). This group, when you can actually find a healthy one, can replace the original sponsor who first guided you through the Steps.
If you don’t read and study, if you just parrot the rhetoric your sponsor’s sponsor’s sponsor says, and you stay in your Stinkin Thinkin, then what the heck kind of a message are you carrying to the newcomer? …and to someone you’re trying to guide through the Steps? PLEASE–we have an obligation to carry THE message to the people who are honestly looking for a genuine solution to their problem. You cannot transmit something that YOU don’t even have yet.

THINKING QUOTES from the Big Book:

Big Book coverpage 13: “I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within.”
page 41:
“As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington.”
page 53:
“It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw conclusions. (that’s ALL about thinking).”
page 60:
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.”
page 64: “It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.”
page 86:
“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. In thinking about our day, we may face indecision.… When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.”
page 87:
“What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. …Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely on it.”
page 100:
“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.”
page 70:
“We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people.”
page 74:
“Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step.”
page 76:
“We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal.
page 50:
“They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.
page 55:
“If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway.”
page 104:
We want to analyze mistakes we have made.”
page 83: “We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them.”
page 134: “This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dad‘s new way of living and thinking.
page 83: “We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.”

 

THINKING QUOTES From the 12 and 12:

page 54: “It will be an aid to clear thinking and honest appraisal.
page 34: “We saw that we were powerless over alcohol, but we also perceived that faith of some kind, if only in A.A. itself, is possible to anyone.”
page 102: “Therefore, we ought to consider each request carefully to see what its real merit is.”
page 52: “To take inventory in this respect we ought to consider carefully all personal relationships which bring continuous or recurring trouble.”
page 70: “Since this Step so specifically concerns itself with humility, we should pause here to consider what humility is and what the practice of it can mean to us.”
page 77: “First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault;…”   “…and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.”
page 48: “Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character defects are.”
page 52: “But all alcoholics who have drunk themselves out of jobs, family, and friends will need to cross-examine themselves ruthlessly to determine how their own personality defects have thus demolished their security.”
page 81: “We should, of course, ponder and weigh each instance carefully.”
page 88: “A continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow by this means, are necessities for us.”       “… no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, …”
page 89: “The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal.”      “Then there are those occasions when alone, or in the company of our sponsor or spiritual adviser, we make a careful review of our progress since the last time.”
page 91: “When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think.
page 94: “As we glance down the debit side of the day’s ledger, we should carefully examine our motives in each thought or act that appears to be wrong.”
page 102: “In the morning we think of the hours to come.”

QUOTES FROM OTHERS:

–M. Scott Peck says,
“Thinking is difficult. Thinking is complex. Thinking is a process. Many people show little interest in contemplation.
“Thinking too little is your problem.
Many people run from the change necessary for growth. They aren’t willing to face the task of reformulating some of the assumptions and illusions they have accepted as truth. …We have to live with some illusions but the problem comes when our illusions consistently interfere with growth. …many people avoid the pain of suffering and problems… if we avoid suffering, we avoid growth.”
“Thinking too much is somebody else’s problem.
Although often we do damage to ourselves through simplistic thinking, there are other times when people may seek to damage us for daring to think well.  If we think a great deal and others don’t particularly like it, that is their problem, not ours. If you use your brain, it’s bound to create a problem for others if they are seeking to use, abuse, control you, or keep you dependent or fearful. … If we choose to think for ourselves, we risk being seen as eccentrics or malcontents.  …It can take a lifetime for many people to come to terms with the freedom they truly have to think for themselves… it is a choice.

—Martin Luther King, Jr.
“In acknowledging our freedom to think we need always to remain aware that we can make both wrong and right choices. …with the freedom to think and feel anything also comes the responsibility to discipline our thoughts and feelings.”

“Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.”

—James Allen: “As a Man Thinketh”
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. …The outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought, and both pleasant and unpleasant external conditions are factors which make for the ultimate good of the individual. As the reaper of his own harvest, man learns by both suffering and bliss.
A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate of circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power.
Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. No such conditions can exist as descending into vice and its attendant sufferings apart from vicious inclinations, or ascending into virtue and its pure happiness without the continued cultivation of virtuous aspirations. And man, therefore, as the Lord and master of thought, is the maker of himself, the shaper and author of environment.”

ETC—a recovered (but not cured) alcoholic in Oregon